the explanation for why he-man has a tiger is one of the funniest things i've ever seen in my life and i have to share the whole clip

Omg MENTRIFICATION 😀 God bless tumblr twitter.com/astarfleetcade…

John Wick's real last name is Jovanovic that makes him a Jojo.

Getting pumped imagining knocking out Wim Wenders or something in a film curriculum to make room for this horseshit. twitter.com/jhill1181/stat…

Alright yall whats the next show to insufferably posture about not watching. I need to get in on the ground floor.

Non-binary culture is hating how you look with both of those snapchat filters

"oh that's a decent job, have you painted nails before?"
yea, used to be a gi-. goth. lived as a goth.

"oh you used to have long hair as well?" yeah for a while during my goth phase.

"hey dude what's with those chest scars?"
ah yeah. goth. thing.

@cyberlass can’t read the whole article because paywall but there was a study a bit ago showing that a beer is as good, if not a better, recovery drink than a gatorade. I guess some breweries decided to capitalize on that?

jokes on them- pbr has electrolytes, too! (it’s what plants crave)

self care is officially over we're doing drugs again

I feel called out twitter.com/EveryDNA/statu…

Genuinely gotta give credit to Bernie for employing the tactic of asking reporters “what the fuck are you talking about?” nytimes.com/2019/05/18/us/…

There were 82 school shootings in 2018—mostly by white men, 0 by Arabs

Schools: Let’s use an Arab Guy for our mass shooter drill😑 twitter.com/ajplus/status/…

I was already impressed and then he did a backflip in heels twitter.com/psychologydoc/…

Tormund is out here FLOURISHING without brienne. He left her raven on read.

looks like a bloodborne boss twitter.com/BirdPhotograph…

@BethSkw dustrial dustrial.net

doughnuts and deadlifts doughnutsanddeadlifts.com

teespring has some goodies by like daShareZ0ne teespring.com/stores/dashare…

I made a new emoji that I call "mild panic"

@Plussize__Diva @brownandbella @aimn2please When I tell dudes that in Week One and Two, you haven’t even had sex yet:

When embryos are frozen in fertility clinics and aren’t used they are discarded. Republicans don’t care about that. Because it’s not about the embryos. It’s about controlling women.

It was worst when things were best, the sense of future loss.

The moment becoming memory.

The hands moving on the clock; sharks, circling.

All of these facts mean one thing: the ultra-restrictive abortion laws coming out of 14 states now are incompatible with the science of human development. They are based on *belief*, not fact. When you legislate belief over fact, you are imposing state religion.

FUCK EVERYTHING VIDEO OUT NOW. smarturl.it/euringer

idea: read PR News to better avoid every single thing they touch or recommend or vote “best” twitter.com/JessicaHuseman…

I don’t always quote myself, but when I do it’s because I was asked if more computer literacy is the solution to the stalkerware/spouseware problem. twitter.com/act_gardner/st…

The ultimate list of biohacks and smart drugs:

-Drink more water
-Get 8 hours of sleep
-Walk outside in the sun
-Leave your phone on silent
-Read a few pages each day
-Eat more vegetables and greens
-Don’t hang out with toxic people
-Work on projects you care about

it took me at least three times watching this to realize that was a brick of instant ramen and not a dry sponge twitter.com/riamichaelss/s…

abortion rights are about bodily autonomy

trans rights are about bodily autonomy

any government that denies anyone agency over their own body is illegitimate, thank you and good night ✌🏻🖤

So let's recap:
→ sex ed is discouraged
→ birth control is impossible to access
→ abortion and miscarriage are considered felonies
→ felons can't vote

Abortion is truly astonishing in its capacity as an issue to draw out and make visible the tension between valuing *life* and valuing *agency*.

Do we value consciousness and freedom? Or do we value lumps of biomatter and think people should be meat puppets enslaved by biology?

Every person with a uterus

How to get your man to do push ups:
1. do push ups in front of him wrong

📢💥📢💥📢💥

DON'T SAY "BIOLOGICAL" WHEN WHAT YOU MEAN IS "CIS"
DON'T SAY "REAL" WHEN WHAT YOU MEAN IS "CIS"
DON'T SAY "NATURAL" WHEN WHAT YOU MEAN IS "CIS"
DON'T SAY "NORMAL" WHEN WHAT YOU MEAN IS "CIS"

Trans people *are* biological, real, natural, and normal!!!!

📢💥📢💥📢💥

🎉🎟 XOXO returns to Revolution Hall with four days of incredible speakers, performances, and projects. Surveys close on May 23! 2019.xoxofest.com

Bill Nye not the same Bill Nye we used to know 💀

sword gay DNA

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It's freaky and horrifying how accurate Exxon's 37-year old predictions for carbon dioxide levels today are (h/t @tsrandall) earther.gizmodo.com/exxon-predicte…

You all remember when this happened right?

And you remember how I said I was going to make some to buy?

Welll........ twitter.com/JohnLZHC/statu…

@cyberlass if it lacks the viral appeal of a Twitter thread rant you can try tweeting a link with the understanding that most will tldr it and look for someone else to sum it up in a single tweet

Friend teaching me how to flirt: You have to lick your lips just a little, make it look sexy.

Me: Like this?

Friend: No, not like that

Me: How about now?

Friend: Please stop

Me:

@lepht_anonym hylyx was wondering if you got the care package that they sent you!

@oalian75 huh, thought it was seven?

meh? I guess?

this season is a mess.

@oalian75 aren’t there two more episodes? seven total this season, right? this was five?

A person in this coffee house just repeatedly pronounced @github as jithub. I’m having a lot of trouble with boundaries right now.

@_birdmachine @cyberlass just do what I did.

1. find a decent place in a great neighborhood.

2. get a cheap Ikea futon (bonus: doubles as guest bed)

3. don’t move again, ever

@_birdmachine @cyberlass so if she doesn’t want to wait… what then?

sounds like a vague threat with no teeth?

if you’re paying your fair share of rent, fuck this noise. tell her to find a strong friend or hire a mover or keep fucking waiting.

don’t fuck up your implant healing over some asshole!

when you’re talking about access to birth control & abortions, say “reproductive rights,” not “women’s rights!” thank you!

8 twitter.com/AReallyCoolDog…

The earth spun through space.

For a while things lived on it. That was nice.

But after awhile they all died away.

And that was OK too.

@BethSkw you don't have to be an admin to add emoji, usually!

@jhelwig slack is bad and I feel bad for using it, but I like discord even less.

@jhelwig from everything I've seen, the new API doesn't do this.

@drunkenGeeBee It's a chrome extension to bulk upload, yes

but then they are just in slack

@drunkenGeeBee no, you bulk upload them into slack using the extension. they wind up in slack like all other emoji.

I found a way! It requires a chrome extension, which means I had to use chrome, but it worked.

chrome.google.com/webstore/detai…

are y'all just in fewer slacks than me, or what? this is prohibitively annoying.

can it really be true that there is currently no way to bulk upload slack emoji?

emojipacks isn't working anymore (again, it last broke in August and I had gotten it to work around November)

and slack-emojinator isn't working, either

Yesterday, @JoeBiden crossed a union picket line in LA to collect donations from anti-union corporate execs. Biden's campaign ignored requests from the National Union of Healthcare Workers. Please insert your rationalizations for electability below.

Today is the anniversary of the Nazi book burnings, when the entire research library at Hirschfeld’s Institute of Sexology was publicly burned. Almost all scientific research into trans lives went kaput. People who think we appeared yesterday: there’s a reason you think that.

union dues help pay for lawyers, organizers, and negotiators who'll make your company give you a higher salary and better benefits. so of course bosses want to convince you they're some wild, unmanageable expense

just to clarify folks - a scab is a strikebreaker, a worker who crosses a picket line to take a job replacing a striker, to reduce the pressure on management. a scab betrays the entire striking body of workers for themselves. a customer crossing a picket line is just an ASSHOLE

well, bad takes start coming
and they don't stop coming

according to this nonsense, food, clothing, grooming, and travel are all considered nonessential twitter.com/USATODAY/statu…

Don’t scab and take a Lyft or Uber today. If you need to go somewhere simply take public transit, walk, or borrow a cop car and park it upside-down in a ditch when you’re done.

I have zero idea what is happening here but I have to share it

@akh13 22 year old me is rolling. in. their. grave!

this is a pill you swallow that performs an internal, painless injection

this would be extremely useful for people taking T! twitter.com/futurism/statu…

@lepht_anonym I’m so relieved you made your flight!!! 💜💜💜