invincibility frames should also exist in real life

This has been living rent free in my head for days so enjoy

life hack: avoid the stress of following the government lifting/reinstating of mask mandates by ignoring them and wearing a mask regardless

@ahninjas he dummy thicc

Just watched my idiot son (snake) try and eat this mouse, miss, and bite himself in the ass instead

i was having a conversation today with an older dnd player and i seriously think the main difference between certain older players and younger players is that older players want to kill orcs and become kings and younger players want to be orcs and kill kings

My cat just saw a flat-bed tow truck drive by with a car on the back and you’d think it was a fucking t-rex with how he reacted

I see you’re new around here instagram.com/p/CWoiyXyh8RG/…

also it would be cool if Skyrim “romance” meant anything and if there were a few steps between returning someone’s lost cat, talking to them while wearing the right bling, and marrying them

Just caught myself thinking, “it would be cool if Skyrim let me romance Sheogorath” and realized this is a very good reason why, in real life, I don’t (and shouldn’t), date

@skyesidhe Birthday trips to the coast for D&D one shots are adventures only the very best people organize 💜💜💜

Hey Dr Who, the more you try making weeping angels into the next daleks or cybermen, the less cool and interesting they get

The second best thing about culture finally accepting that gender is a buckwild spectrum is content platforms flailing around asking "OH CRAP! OH NO! WHAT COUNTS AS A BOOB?"

human gender and sexuality are very much like animal taxonomy, in that both look structured and simple on the surface, but once you start investigating, it turns out there's actually no such thing as a fish despite the fact that we all know what a fish is, and that's okay

“See you later, alligator” equivalents in other languages:

5. Aju paraplu (Dutch) = bye umbrella
4. Agur yogur (Basque) = bye yoghurt
3. Čauky mňauky (Czech) = ciao miaow
2. Szervusz vízibusz (Hungarian) = cheerio waterbus
1. Me piro, vampiro (Spanish) = I’m outta here, vampire

squinted for a solid 30 seconds at the phrase “soy bisexual” trying to figure out what this latest insult meant until I went a little further and realized I was reading a tweet in spanish

Me: I'm okay with getting a Series S for future Bethesda games. It's not like anyone plays them for their graphics, anyway!

Also me: I sure can't wait until Skyrim Anniversary edition drops so I can play it remastered for the PS5!

video game truth: the mainline mario games are harder to actually complete than the dark souls games

As a handy reference piece, here are the top 10 reasons drivers get angry at bike riders.

Disability Activist Engracia Figueroa Dies After United Airlines Destroys Her Custom Wheelchair yahoo.com/lifestyle/disa…

Sci-Fi Author: In my book I invented the Torment Nexus as a cautionary tale

Tech Company: At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel Don't Create The Torment Nexus

yall keep saying “you can’t change sex!” but the main way sex and gender are different is that medically speaking it’s extremely easy to change a person’s sex, while it’s impossible to change their gender

@BethSkw Something cronenberg-esque, surely. Wouldn’t that just be a highfalutin way of saying “body horror”?

I can't get over this video so maybe you should see it too

the chekhov's gun was coming from inside the house

thinking about this more, in the things I read the situation always turns out just fine and the trust was warranted

so, all me then

the fact that every time I read the words "do you trust me?" I think "it's a trap!" probably says a lot about me (or the things I read), huh?

my hot take about dysphoria is that a: of course you don't *need* dysphoria to be trans, AND b: a lot of people who swear up and down they have no dysphoria actually do, they just don't recognize it bc it's not the stereotypical version of dysphoria or they're like. repressing it

No one links to this test AFAICT because it’s legitimately terrible but for once the twitter discourse of the day isn’t overly heavy so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

anyway, it me, a person who hates oysters and thinks this has very little to do with my socioeconomic status

Don’t make an En Eff Tee, just photocopy your art and staple it together. Make a zine. Be a person. Fuck the police. Plant a garden.

@stuffedskullcat

Thembo Alert! This Enby Forgot How To Declare A Variable In Python After Working With Strongly Typed Languages For So Long

You can’t convince me the 90s or the 2000s was a fun time, I was there, I remember

@oalian75 there have been studies showing that testosterone affects language centers of the brain theatlantic.com/health/archive…

and, possibly related, things that USED to creep me out like scary games and movies for the most part just don't anymore. they are still fun, but in a completely different way!

and, conversely, I've noticed I've begun consistently using "then" when I mean "than", and "affect" when I mean "effect" (and vice-versa)

I'm replaying DAI now, just over 2.5 years on T, and nearly 8 years since the last time I played and the astrarium puzzles are suddenly much easier? like I get them all almost instantly? I remember them being harder.

this is anecdotal, I know, but they say hormones affect mathematical and language ability and...

@oalian75 to be fair he had only shredded the slat to the point where it was barely hanging in there and I had to get scissors out to remove the rest of it

I have no idea HOW he managed this, mind

woke up one morning to see SOMEONE had ripped a single slat out of the blinds presumably to make his life slightly more convenient instagram.com/p/CVy4WQvvO6c/…

@MichaelSLaufer I'm beating it into submission by eating a volume of popcorn equal in size to my torso

that'll teach it, surely

@gains_tweets this is peak “skipped leg day”

I'm hungrier an hour after I eat than I am 10 minutes before eating

why is my body like this

the rules for dungeons and dragons might seem complicated at first but they are very simple: a human character can walk 30 feet in a single round, unless they are gay in which case they walk 60 feet

If you’re not trans you don’t get to decide wether you feel Dave Chappelle’s Netflix special is transphobic or not. If you’re an ally listen to your trans friends who are hurting and stand with them.

replaying DAI and flirted with Dorian a bunch and something about overheating random gossip in Skyhold about me being a “confirmed bachelor” is 😍

"bedtime revenge procrastination" is a really annoying way to say "my job takes too many hours out of my life so I have to stay up really late to have any personal time at all and it causes a never-ending cycle of sleep deprivation"

@gendereveal very true!

also, none of the irreversible effects happen overnight, so you can also just, take it one day at a time and see how it goes and stop any time things start to not feel great?

guy who actually solved their trauma with a fucked-up and evil revenge plot, saving money on therapy

Cis women have spent years giving whole lecture series on why you shouldn't say "hey guys" to a mixed-gender group, only to turn around and act affronted that they can't refer to an enormous mixed-gender group as "women."

@hachx0 @LenKusov Wake up sheeple the new trolley problem DLC just dropped

Is He Hot Or Has He Just Never Mentioned Blockchain

The angry little face as the green beans get snapped.

I've been laughing at this for an embarrassingly long time.

Self-driving cars seem simple because on the surface they look like something we’re already familiar with, but the problem has so many technological and moral hurdles that the same amount of money and effort into transit would produce much more bang for the buck

@oalian75 to the garbage with both of us!!

also!

I didn’t even answer her initial question because how DO AirPods stay in???

it’s like a mystery and probably involves sticky earwax gunk and luck, mostly, but like the saying used to be it Just Works

clearly, interacting in society is just Too Much™️ for everyone right now

I put my mask back on and apologized profusely and she took her mask off to say it was no big deal and that she was vaccinated

today at the store a grocery worker asked me how I keep my AirPods in and in some weird podcast-fueled no-social-interaction-expected fugue I reached for my ear for an AirPod and took off my mask to answer her

just throw me in the garbage like I deserve

To me, this is a massive story that just flew under the radar. The consolidation of commercial VPNs under a single shady banner alone should be cause for alarm, worse yet when they have a reputation for malware distribution.

restoreprivacy.com/kape-technolog…

@pianobar77 I'm fine with re-buying things on like iTunes and trust that media I purchase to stream that way probably won't disappear, but yeah, anything streaming on Netflix or Amazon Prime or whatever probably won't be available for long, unless it's made FOR that platform

I'm left to assume that all y'all who have already gotten rid of your physical media only care about new releases (fair! I don't buy new movies on DVD, either!) or have a very large remote storage/backup solution for your ripped media

sometimes I get a hankering to de-clutter and get rid of all my DVDs/Blu-rays, but then I check and see that Forbidden Zone isn't available in any streaming service I've heard of and realize that probably a whole lot of the weirder movies I own won't be available, either

sleeping is the most dangerous exercise and heating pads aren’t really designed for necks instagram.com/p/CU-msmKvmqO/…

Morticia and Gomez are T4T right? This feels correct to me.

the worst thing about Dragon Age Awakening is that Ser Pounce-a-Lot is categorized as a junkable item; I should not have this much anxiety around the possibility of accidentally throwing away an imaginary cat

my brain when someone else talks for 2+ minutes straight: wow love this story they’re telling!

my brain when i talk for 2+ minutes straight: everyone in this room wants to set me on fire