at least I’m not currently getting the “shit yourself with bananas” ads, whatever they are for

cyborg-alchemist.tumblr.com/post/662577784…

tumblr ads continue to amaze.

on the one hand, whatever passes for targeting they do has to be doing SOMETHING because it keeps trying to advertise estrogen of all things to me.

right ballpark, wrong game, dude!

changing your name legally sucks because they don't actually change it on anything for you they just hand you a piece of paper and say "have fun taking this to every government agency ever"

I'll never look at T-Rexs the same way.

for instance, what I heard:
he: I used to wear a headband every day when I worked out, until I passed out for some reason
me: because of the headband?!?
everyone: lol
me: 🤔

what he said:
I used to wear a headband every day when I worked out, until I STOPPED for some reason

sometimes people think i’m being incredibly witty when in reality I misheard what they said so am reacting reasonably to an alternate reality conversation only I am a part of

Nonbinary people be like "it sucks that you can't pass as non-binary" and then name themself Moss

the only lasting 9/11 memory i have is when the budweiser ad with the kneeling clydesdales came on during the super bowl and i said "those horses are praying to mecca" and my friend's uncle got so mad that he had to go in the backyard

You ever think, "I may never have insurance this good again so maybe I should do this thing now" or do you not live in the United States?

A bot wrote this obituary and I'm losing my mind

I took the day off work to watch season 6 of Lucifer today, and just finished the last episode

man, I’m really looking forward to some s6 rewrite/AU fics

The whole internet loves Hardhat Cat, a lovely cat that wears a hardhat! *5 seconds later* We regret to inform you the cat supports the annexation of Crimea

How to Be A Better Listener When All You’re Thinking About is What the Normal Amount of Eye Contact Is While Listening: ow.ly/M6NY50G45rj

for some ppl a lot of trans masculine dysphoria when starting puberty comes around not wanting to wear bras bc of the way it draws attention to and separates their chest from their torso, and feeling fear - if not phobia - and disgust around pregnancy's entire process

My company does this icebreaker thing where every week a different person sends an email to the whole company talking about their average day, and today's coworker started his "I wake up each day furious to be laboring under capitalism" and it has caused quite a stir.

anyway here’s the best picture of a tiger i have ever seen

@ckwright @FeyNudibranch there is nothing one can do about it regardless of equipment. the pain serves no purpose other than biology being the enemy.

Verifying myself: I am tekniklr on Keybase.io. kuxSiA-HR2Efg-SbKb3yRXgvvRBPoYp9QVeZ / keybase.io/tekniklr/sigs/…

Don't think they'll stop at Roe.

They'll keep going. They'll try to overturn Griswold, removing your right to contraception and privacy.

They'll overturn Lawrence v. Texas, overturning consensual sodomy.

They'll overturn Obgerfell, making it OK to outlaw gay marriage again.

So mask mandates violate our freedom but forced childbearing doesn't?

unfortunately my playlist isn’t shareable because most of it is monster mashups and not on spotify or anything else except circa 2000s internet

participating in the twitch boycott today and using the opportunity to dust off my trusty halloween playlist for background sound while working instead

highly recommended

"regressive policies are the work of a vocal minority" and "we should abandon Southern states for their backwards laws" are not compatible opinions

Lotta anti-vaxxers saying "my body my choice" who also believe you should go to prison for using drugs

Without downloading any new pics, what’s it like dating you? twitter.com/verylifelike/s…

ANY INSTRUCTIONS: it's easier with two people!
ME: lol go fuck yourself

@ckwright big ass mood right here

Interesting bedtime chat with my 3 year old tonight: “daddy, I had a family a long time ago & my mummy was called Sochi & I was called Anke but then I died & now I’m with your family,” Anyway, if anyone needs me, I’ll be up cleaning the pants I just shat for the rest of the night

I took my 11 yo daughter to get a drink at Starbucks. We watched an incredibly handsome construction worker walk across the parking lot and into the store. Do you know what that little girl said to me? “I don’t know what he fixes, but mine is broken.”

Among Skyrim players, you'll occasionally see this tip: if you see a wild fox, follow it and you'll be led to treasure.

Sometime shortly after shipping, we saw this going around online, and an informal investigation started. Who made foxes do this?!

BIG NEWS: I’ve just introduced legislation in Congress calling for a four-day work week. It’s well past time that Americans have more time to live their lives, and not just work. Retweet if you agree, we need to make this a reality.

Props to anyone who tries to be fashionable in ireland i wore a red beret once in waterford and someone called me super mario

ขนมปังยังหุ่นดีกว่ากูอะ เศร้าหวะ

every transmasc person has a traumatic experience at the salon with a hairdresser feminizing their haircut, it’s a rite of passage

RETWEET if you know from personal experience that virtually any office job is easier than every minimum-wage job

who had "private military merc security guards" (hired, not by megacorps as you might expect, but by local bars) on their 2021 dystopia bingo card? twitter.com/MrOlmos/status…

If every person on earth just recycled, stopped using plastic straws, and drove an electric car, 100 corporations would still produce 70% of total global emissions.

debating whether I should explain to my cis boss that this is in fact not the preferred symbol for trans inclusivity but very much the symbol representing the artist formerly known as Prince

Mentally ill homeless man practicing quickdraw with a plastic orange-tipped handgun: murdered by police. kgw.com/article/news/l…
Proud Boy pointing a realistic Airsoft assault rifle at journalist, finger on the trigger: police don't bother to show up. portlandmercury.com/blogtown/2021/…

started playing FO4 again and Diamond City is much cozier than I remembered

@skyesidhe not a creeper unless you lie about your age!

the 28% of americans who DON'T believe they can take a rat in a fight is also interesting

and I want to hear the battle plan of these 8% who believe they can take an elephant in a fight and I bet you a shiny nickle it involves dodge rolling twitter.com/doug_hanke/sta…

Evangelion is about being such a virgin that you accidentally destroy the world, and FLCL is about being such a chad that you accidentally save it.

@skyesidhe whyever not, though

the term "transsexual" implies the existence of the term "cissexual" which is very funny to me for no good reason

This is legitimately one of my favourite standalone comic strips

This is... a lot of layers of information to learn and process all at once.

if anything, we are transitioning to become gayer. twitter.com/OliverAshKlein…

I am not ok with this field of cabbages

big mood instagram.com/p/CSAMMpPJAyC/…

There’s infrastructure, and then there’s Dutch infrastructure.

@Wiredforsound23 I got this as an email, but it's legit- from PublicAlerts, which I signed up for ( publicalerts.org/signup ). everbridge is what is linked in the email, and is the service for Multnomah county on PublicAlerts.

@ariaadagio I was once at a specifically queer event and there were pride stickers shaped like various sex toys and two guys were staring at one asking, “what the heck is that?”, and me, the ace, had to inform them that “that” was a butt plug

so, most people?

The whole premise of "if everyone gets vaccinated, we can avoid other measures" was that everyone got vaccinated, I'm not sure what's so confusing about this

If anyone witnessed a car hit a cyclist at the intersection of César Chávez and Clinton this morning, please let me know. And please share to other Portland people.

guy who gets really upset when you collapse their gender wave function by observing them

I wonder why they call it earthenware and not tectonic plates

when i say “i should be there in 5!” i’m almost always using the moral sense of the word ‘should’, not the like probability sense. like yeah being there in 5 minutes would be the right thing, even though it’s not going to happen

Transitioning won't solve all your problems, it can only treat or improve gender dysphoria, as well as associated depression, anxiety, dissociation, stress, poor body image, eating disorders, sexual dysfunction, social difficulties, substance abuse, self-harm, suicidality,

i'm not hangry i'm hisappointed

interesting exercise for y'all cis friends:

A friend of mine is reading her first romance and described it as "fanfiction about men" and I have not been able to stop thinking about it

Interviewer: Are you good at staying calm in stressful situations?

Me: I’m not good at staying calm in relaxing situations.

I can’t tell if my new deadlift 3 rep max of 245 lbs is better or worse than my old one rep max of 265
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I’m 30 lbs lighter now than I was then, it’s probably better?

got shit on by a bird again on my ride to the gym

why does this keep happening

@tenderlove say what you will about the tenets of C but at least it’s an ethos

@ckwright

@ckwright yeah, i’m planning on going down two flights of stairs to use a men’s room with more than one stall, I guess

when I have a much more private bathroom, WITH A BIDET, at home

offices are dumb and wasteful