*in very small text* I understand that this sucks for movie theaters, but I think it would be more honest to talk about this in those economic terms rather than pretending the average person likes that movies are only available in theaters for months

"when i see ~̴̧̛̻̹̻͚̟̥͐͗̔̒̾̆̌̀̃̽͑̌̉̕ͅ~̴̡̡̫̼̝̫̖͖̯͖̘̐̐̂̄͊̽̊̃̾̓̇́͆̍͝ͅ~̸̡̥͇͈̲͉̣͈̀͌̀͗͛̏͌́̕~̷̡̡̢̧̱̻̬̺̆̈́̿̀̾̑̆͑͜͝~̶̨̧̙̭͖̻͚͔̰̖̼̬͚́̒͑͝~̶̘̮͇͉̳̩͎̳̉̆͑̑͜͜~̶̨͚͎̮͈͕̯̩̙̭̦̣̭̭͂̀̃̍͗̈̓̇̆̈̍͂͘̚͝ͅ~̷̧̛̟̻͈͍͎̼̯͉̥̎̔͒̓̕̕͜͜͜ͅ i hear ____"

I can’t not do anything any harder than I’m already not doing anything twitter.com/ktla/status/13…

I’m wheezing

does one single person know what salesforce is or does

if my pronouns were he/him, this would inspire me to put he/himbo in my bios twitter.com/braiinsoup/sta…

apparently there is a wrestler named sting and I only know this because I saw people tweeting things like "oh my god, sting" and assumed the musician had died (because 2020)

anyway, sting, the musician, seems to be alive and well, and some wrestler something something

what if god came down to earth and said “it’s pronounced jod” and left

there's nothing "cyberpunk" about intellectual property infringement twitter.com/CyberpunkGame/…

@jckichen @WylieNewmark we taught rocks how to think and now they're pissed

went to the grocery store today and nearly got hit by two cars trying to maintain six feet of distance from people fucking around outside without masks on

My 13yo’s teacher: Why do you think archaeologists study the past?
My 13yo: Because you can’t find bones from the future.

this is still happening and is still great. somehow dutch xmas stamps seem more festive!

While new yorkers praise bodegas, they never mention the fake bodegas to outsiders.

Every new yorker has entered a fake bodega at least once, even when warned not to.

A friend’s grandma got covid (she’s recovered)

How did she get covid? She’s been sneaking off to karaoke bars that are covertly operating illegally, w/o covid precautions.

Illegal. Underground. Grandma. Karaoke Bars.

Am I disappointed? Amazed? Losing my mind? All of the above.

the Michelin Star is what you get if the Michelin man comes to your restaurant and you defeat him

Just clocking into the Gender Policing factory to try to force people to experience the world differently than they do for 8 hours. It's hard work, but no one has to do it.

imagine how exhausting and stupid it must be to be a TERF

jk rowling just threw a juno dvd at her butler’s head

“formerly known as-“ ❌

“known for his roles in-“ ✅

@ghalidrim I don’t play this sort of game for the challenge so I lowered the difficulty to be able to squash stuff as I reached it

now i’m power level 400 with like 30 mastery points and really should increase the difficulty again...

@ghalidrim because of the aforementioned completionism I finished the asgard arc as soon as it became available 😂

@ghalidrim are you playing it? have you finished the story?

i’m a ridiculous completionist and am 100%ing each area so i’m like 190 hours in but still early in the Sigurd arc

like, obviously Sigurd and Tyr are the same voice actor and it's even obvious in many other ways by the time you complete the Asgard arc that they are related

but I just realized that Basim sounds a whole lot like Loki with a different accent and hmmm

I'm realizing which voice actors were reused where in AC: Valhalla and that feels like more of a spoiler than the visible silhouettes on the order page that people keep complaining about

A girl keeps sending my local news station screenshots of the landscape from Red Dead Redemption 2 for their “Out and About” news segment... and they keep putting it on the news thinking it’s a photo.

Bella, I salute you.

@yellowglasses Horizon and Bloodborne

somehow, tumblr and twitter have come to believe i’m in the netherlands and now all my ads are in dutch and go to .nl domains

this is sort of great?

Can Gen Z and Millennials please tell me why you’re always saying “SCREAMING” or “Yelling”? Why are you shouting? Should I be shouting as well? Thanks.

@EwaSR I found one in the new Spider-Man game, where I turned into a patio heater for no apparent reason.

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out

You better watch out twitter.com/UnvirtuousAbbe…

@BethSkw (allergy bias, I know)

@BethSkw 🤢🤮

your "legal" gender implies the existence of a more exciting, illegal gender

yeah, episode 19 felt like more of a fitting finale than episode 20.

I guess I can see why the writers made the choices they did wrt the Winchesters, but to not even show any of the people who Chuck disappeared, or Mary, or Jack, or Cass? weak.

My favorite part of trying to learn a new skill is that part at the beginning where you realize you're a worthless fraud who never has been good at anything and never will be

ah, three months already

Verifying myself: I am tekniklr on Keybase.io. H76LFmUK0dVKEngfS1SWS1_Sc66Mjqk4dn54 / keybase.io/tekniklr/sigs/…

apparently the final episode of supernatural is tonight?

so what the hell did I watch last week that sure as hell felt like a final episode complete with 12 years of montage shots?

The single most important thing a man can do to be an ally is give his woman friends permission to give dudes at the bar his number so when they call he can angrily say that's not funny because she died 15 years ago that very night

17 year old me would be super offended that I finally stopped wearing JNCOs and a wallet chain twitter.com/antinouns/stat…

This Senate hearing looks like the tale of a marooned lighthouse keeper and the robot butler he built to stave off loneliness.

Reminder that it is NOT worth getting covid to party with your friends and family, it is ONLY worth getting covid to provide me with goods and services

I'm disturbed that I just saw this in another tweet and instantly knew what it was.

Hear me out: what if cardio was illegal twitter.com/BethSkw/status…

Cancelling $1.7T in taxes for 600 billionaires but not $1.7T in student debt for 45M Americans is the modern version of let them eat cake.

in call of duty you can get shot in the face with a shotgun at point blank range, hide behind a bush and fully recover yet being able to play as non binary is what breaks the realism for ian

I just saw someone refer to the Proud Boys and alt right as the “Q Cucks Klan” and I-

Amazing pic. A historian friend said, “it’s all the same flag.”

(to be clear, that’s not entirely what happened here. I started on ps4 and deliberately replayed the beginning on the ps5 to get that first trophy twice- THEN it mysteriously switched back to the ps4 version and I didn’t notice for 10 hours)

if you know you’re gonna wana platinum something and play it on ps5, maybe don’t start it on ps4 even if it has an upgrade and the saves port

was playing assassin’s creed valhalla on my ps5 and somehow it switched from the ps5 version to the ps4 version and long story short i’ve replayed a bunch and have a lot of the same trophies on both versions

be careful of this small yacht complaint, I guess?

in 1990 the window of a plane fell off and one of the pilots got sucked out so they just held onto his legs while the plane landed

one time i was having a panic attack and my older brother was like "you know what'll cheer you up" and he took me to panera and ordered an apple and broke the apple in half with his bare hands and i was like sobbing answering "thanks"

Losing Thanksgiving because you couldn't stay home on Halloween is, like, a literal failing of the marshmallow test

I always worried that I’d some day find myself trapped in a dystopian hellscape battling multiple existential threats, but I never, ever imagined how unbelievably stupid it would all be.

every day I think about the girl who thought everyone could “hear the universe’s energy” and it turned out she just had tinnitus, I hope she’s doing well

If the stay at home orders that are coming are going to massively change the way you’ve been living your social life lately, it’s quite likely you’re the reason we’re going to get more stay at home orders.

If you’re trying to replicate the gym feel at home may I suggest sneezing on your dumbbells before lifting them.

states trying to stop the spread of the coronavirus by making restaurants close at 10pm

it is abusive to tell a trans person to not transition

"You know what's uncomfortable? When you die," NJ Governor Phil Murphy snapped during a press conference when asked about residents complaining that wearing masks was annoying.

This whole “another” lockdown thing, like some of us ever left the first one??????

@BethSkw 1) no, but watching others kettlebell swing i’ve worried about them doing it so avoid standing in the line of fire

2) no

@sorceressofmath I can imagine an octal person but not a hexadecimal person

The Trump administration are Coen brothers characters in an Iannucci script who fancy themselves Tom Clancy characters in a Sorkin script. That's it. That's the summary.

is the past tense of having looked something up on @DuckDuckGo "DuckDuckGoed" or "DuckDuckWent"?